As a psychotherapist working closely with university students, I’ve noticed that the holiday season often brings a mix of emotions. While some students look forward to the festivities, others find this time of year challenging due to mental health struggles, unresolved family tensions, or the absence of usual support systems. A number of my clients have shared concerns about spending Christmas alone because their housemates are away, or because they’ve chosen not to return to family environments that feel unsafe or unhealthy. These circumstances can create the perfect storm for intrusive thoughts—persistent, unwanted thoughts that can feel overwhelming. This article aims to explore how these intrusive thoughts manifest during the holidays and provide practical strategies for managing them.
Why Are Intrusive Thoughts More Prevalent at Christmas?
The holiday period often disrupts the routines that help students manage their mental health. With housemates or friends away, campus life can feel unusually quiet, leaving more room for intrusive thoughts to arise. Family gatherings—or the decision to avoid them—can also trigger self-doubt, guilt, or feelings of inadequacy.
Additionally, the cultural narrative around Christmas as a time of joy and connection can exacerbate feelings of isolation or failure, feeding cycles of rumination. Social media further magnifies this, with curated posts of seemingly perfect celebrations leading to harmful comparisons. Students experiencing relationship challenges, such as breakups or strained friendships, may also find themselves stuck in negative thought patterns, questioning their worth or decisions.
The Impact of Intrusive Thoughts on Mental Health
Intrusive thoughts can take many forms, from self-critical messages to distressing images or scenarios. While these thoughts are common, the stress of the holidays can make them feel more persistent and harder to shake. Left unaddressed, they can contribute to anxiety, depression, and physical symptoms like difficulty sleeping or concentrating. Recognizing the nature of these thoughts—unwanted and often exaggerated—can be a critical first step toward managing them.
Strategies to Manage Intrusive Thoughts
Reframe Your Thinking
When intrusive thoughts arise, it’s helpful to challenge their accuracy. Ask yourself whether these thoughts are based on evidence or assumptions. For instance, if you find yourself thinking, “Everyone else is happier than me,” consider the role of social media in creating this illusion. Reframing these thoughts—such as, “I’m having a tough time now, but this doesn’t define my future”—can provide relief and perspective.
Journaling is another effective tool. Writing down intrusive thoughts can help externalize them, making it easier to identify patterns and challenge their validity. Pair this with gratitude journaling to shift focus onto positive aspects of your life, no matter how small they may seem.
Establish a Routine
Structure is a powerful antidote to rumination. Create a daily schedule that includes activities you enjoy or find fulfilling, such as exercising, cooking, or working on a creative project. This sense of purpose can help reduce the mental space available for intrusive thoughts to take hold.
If you’re spending the holidays alone, consider incorporating traditions that are meaningful to you. Decorating your space, preparing a favorite meal, or watching a beloved movie can create a sense of celebration, even if it looks different from what others are doing.
Practice Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques
Mindfulness can help interrupt the cycle of intrusive thoughts by grounding you in the present moment. Apps like Calm or Headspace offer guided meditations specifically designed to manage anxiety and intrusive thinking. Breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation, or yoga can also help soothe an overactive mind.
Another strategy is the “5-4-3-2-1” grounding technique: identify five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. This technique engages your senses, pulling you out of spiraling thought patterns.
Connect with Support Systems
Even if you’re physically alone, staying connected can help reduce the intensity of intrusive thoughts. Schedule video calls or send messages to friends and family members who understand your struggles. Sharing your experiences with trusted individuals can provide emotional relief and a sense of belonging.
Universities often organize events for students staying on campus during the holidays, such as group meals or activities. Attending these can offer an opportunity to meet others in similar situations and create new connections.
Use Social Media Mindfully
Social media can be both a help and a hindrance during the holiday season. While it offers a way to stay connected with friends and loved ones, it can also amplify feelings of inadequacy or loneliness through curated, idealized posts. To use social media mindfully, consider:
Limiting Time Online: Set boundaries for how much time you spend on social media each day. Use apps that track and limit screen time if needed.
Curating Your Feed: Unfollow accounts that make you feel inadequate and focus on content that inspires or uplifts you.
Engaging Actively: Use social media as a tool for connection by messaging friends or joining supportive online communities. Avoid passive scrolling, which can lead to harmful comparisons.
By taking control of how you engage with social media, you can reduce its negative impact and use it as a tool for connection rather than stress.
Seek Professional Help
Sometimes, intrusive thoughts can feel too overwhelming to manage alone. If this is the case, reaching out for professional help is crucial. Many universities offer free or low-cost counseling services, and online therapy platforms like BetterHelp or Talkspace can provide support tailored to your needs. Crisis hotlines, such as Samaritans or Crisis Text Line, are available 24/7 for immediate assistance.
Addressing Relationship Issues and Intrusive Thoughts
The holidays can amplify relationship struggles, whether they involve family conflicts, romantic breakups, or challenges with friendships. These situations often trigger intrusive thoughts centered on self-worth or regret. Setting healthy boundaries with individuals who contribute to your distress is essential for protecting your mental health. If reconciliation feels possible, consider initiating open, honest conversations—but only if you feel emotionally ready.
Redirecting your focus toward relationships that bring positivity and support can also help. Spend time with friends or chosen family who make you feel valued, even if that means connecting virtually or through shared activities.
Coping with Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)
For some students, the combination of intrusive thoughts and Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) can create a particularly challenging holiday period. Reduced sunlight during the winter months can worsen mood and energy levels, intensifying the grip of negative thoughts. Light therapy lamps, spending time outdoors during daylight, and regular physical activity can alleviate some symptoms of SAD. Seeking professional advice for tailored treatment, such as counseling or medication, may also be beneficial.
Resources and Crisis Support
If intrusive thoughts feel overwhelming, remember that support is always available. Resources include:
Samaritans (UK): Call 116 123 or visit www.samaritans.org
Crisis Text Line (US): Text HOME to 741741 or visit www.crisistextline.org
Lifeline (Australia): Call 13 11 14 or visit www.lifeline.org.au
Befrienders Worldwide: Visit www.befrienders.org for global helplines
Many universities also offer Nightline services, providing confidential, student-run support.
Conclusion
The Christmas period can be particularly challenging for university students dealing with intrusive thoughts, whether triggered by loneliness, family issues, or relationship struggles. By recognizing the nature of these thoughts and implementing strategies to manage them, students can regain a sense of control and hope. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. You don’t have to face this season—or these thoughts—alone.
